Ayodhya Kand Verse 145
जिमि कुलीन तिय साधु सयानी। पतिदेवता करम मन बानी ॥
रहै करम बस परिहरि नाहू। सचिव हृदयँ तिमि दारुन दाहु ॥
लोचन सजल डीठि भइ थोरी। सुनइ न श्रवन बिकल मति भोरी ॥
सूखहिं अधर लागि मुहँ लाटी। जिउ न जाइ उर अवधि कपाटी ॥
बिबरन भयउ न जाइ निहारी। मारेसि मनहुँ पिता महतारी ॥
हानि गलानि बिपुल मन ब्यापी। जमपुर पंथ सोच जिमि पापी ॥
बचनु न आव हृदयँ पछिताई। अवध काह मैं देखब जाई ॥
राम रहित रथ देखिहि जोई। सकुचिहि मोहि बिलोकत सोई ॥
दो. -धाइ पूँछिहहिं मोहि जब बिकल नगर नर नारि।
उतरु देब मैं सबहि तब हृदयँ बज्रु बैठारि ॥ १४५ ॥jimi kulīna tiya sādhu sayānī| patidevatā karama mana bānī ||
rahai karama basa parihari nāhū| saciva hṛdaya~ timi dāruna dāhu ||
locana sajala ḍīṭhi bhai thorī| sunai na śravana bikala mati bhorī ||
sūkhahiṃ adhara lāgi muha~ lāṭī| jiu na jāi ura avadhi kapāṭī ||
bibarana bhayau na jāi nihārī| māresi manahu~ pitā mahatārī ||
hāni galāni bipula mana byāpī| jamapura paṃtha soca jimi pāpī ||
bacanu na āva hṛdaya~ pachitāī| avadha kāha maiṃ dekhaba jāī ||
rāma rahita ratha dekhihi joī| sakucihi mohi bilokata soī ||
do. -dhāi pū~chihahiṃ mohi jaba bikala nagara nara nāri|
utaru deba maiṃ sabahi taba hṛdaya~ bajru baiṭhāri || 145 ||jimi kulina tiya sadhu sayani patidevata karama mana bani
rahai karama basa parihari nahu saciva hridaya~ timi daruna dahu
locana sajala dithi bhai thori sunai na shravana bikala mati bhori
sukhahim adhara lagi muha~ lati jiu na jai ura avadhi kapati
bibarana bhayau na jai nihari maresi manahu~ pita mahatari
hani galani bipula mana byapi jamapura pamtha soca jimi papi
bacanu na ava hridaya~ pachitai avadha kaha maim dekhaba jai
rama rahita ratha dekhihi joi sakucihi mohi bilokata soi
do. -dhai pu~chihahim mohi jaba bikala nagara nara nari
utaru deba maim sabahi taba hridaya~ bajru baithari 145 As a high-born, virtuous, devoted wife who through the compulsion of fate must live separated from her husband endures a burning anguish in her heart — such was the burning torment within the minister's heart. His eyes welled with tears, his sight dimmed, his ears failed to hear, and his mind was thrown into disorder. His lips dried, his mouth turned numb; life did not depart — as if the gates of his heart had been shut, barring the door to a natural end. His colour changed and he looked pitiful — as if his own parents had been slain before him. A feeling of loss and deep shame took hold in his heart — as a sinner dreads the road to the realm of Yama. No words came; inwardly he lamented — what shall I see when I go to Ayodhya? Everyone who sees me arrive in a chariot without Ram will shrink from looking at me.
जैसे एक कुलीन, साध्वी और पतिव्रता स्त्री कर्म-वश पति को छोड़कर रहे — उसके हृदय में जैसी जलन होती है, वैसी ही दारुण जलन सचिव के हृदय में थी। उनके नेत्रों में जल भर आया, दृष्टि क्षीण हो गई, कान नहीं सुनता, मति व्याकुल हो गई। होंठ सूखते, मुँह में लाट लग गई; जीव नहीं जाती — मानो उर-द्वार अवधि-द्वार बंद हो गया हो। वर्ण बदल गया — देखने में कठिन लग रहे थे — मानो माता-पिता को किसी ने मार डाला हो। मन में हानि और ग्लानि की भावना घर कर गई — जैसे पापी को यमपुर के रास्ते पर सोच होती है। वचन नहीं निकलता, हृदय पछताता — अयोध्या जाकर क्या देखूँगा; राम-रहित रथ देखकर सब मुझे देखते ही संकुचित हो जाएँगे।
This is verse 145 of 326 in Ayodhya Kand (अयोध्याकाण्ड), from the section “Valmiki Ashram & Settling at Chitrakut” of Goswami Tulsidas’ Ramcharitmanas.
